Disappointment

I am up late again. In the quiet, in the calm with just the hum of the dryer in the background. Everyone else slumbers…my sweet hubby, my three children, and even my favorite canine companion, Max.

Although it seems like insanity, this is the time of day when God sums up the past 24 hours and speaks to my heart, hushing my soul from the busy-ness of the day. When I come to the end of the day, God punctuates it. Sometimes He does it with an exclamation mark, a question mark, a comma, or a period. It is His finishing touch, wrapping all the events into one box, tying them up with an elaborate bow, and then preparing my heart for the gift of another day.

I overheard someone say they were going to WILD ADVENTURES this weekend. I am not a number one fan of amusement parks. They have lots of rides. If you know anything about me, you know that to get me on a roller coaster or anything of the sort is a major feat. I can still remember my sister riding those crazy concoctions at the fair…the spider, hangman, the monster. I can also remember trying to ride with her. As much as she loved it, I hated it. My body was not meant to be jerked, yanked, wrenched, pulled and tugged like that.
I recall once when I was about 7 years old I got so sick on a fair ride she actually had the ride stopped for me. What sacrifice! Such a great big sis!

The past seven months have been a spiritual roller coaster ride for me. There have been serious family issues, life threatening accidents, financial woes, and even death.

Now, in this spiritual roller coaster ride that I often unwillingly participate in
I can get so frustrated and disappointed.
My expectations, my hopes, my plans often fail, leaving me empty.
I work so hard; commit time, energy, blood, sweat and tears to something, giving it my all, only to have it fall apart. I can relate to King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 2:11, "As I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless…like chasing the wind."

Tonight this thought came to my mind….

Our disappointments can be God's appointments.

Romans 5:3-4 says it like this: "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character . . . " Inner spiritual strength, the kind resulting from sincere faith in God, helps cultivate that attitude.

When I get to the end, that's when God does His work. I am not to receive glory. He is. God always works in my disappointments to bring me to a better place with Him. A place where I rely less on my abilities and more on His.

He said, "I will never fail you. I will never forsake you" ( Hebrews 13:5).

"God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God" (Romans 8:28).

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" ( 2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

God's plans are always grander than we can imagine.