Early this morning around 8:30 am I heard the loud honking of geese flying over our house. I forgot that it was that time of year again where geese fly south for winter. It is always fascinating to observe their behavior. The most interesting part is that through some strange process, only one male and female end up taking up residence in our pond to build a nest and raise their young. Usually the initial flock consists of 10-12 geese and somehow it is narrowed down to one pair. This morning imagine my surprise when I saw no less than 100 geese in my front yard. No kidding! It looked like a Wild Goose Convention! (I'll post a picture of the geese when I get my camera back...I left it at Moma and Daddy's tonight)
Speaking of wild geese...sometimes I feel like I am on a wild goose chase, seeking or pursuing something that doesn't exist. Don't get me wrong, I know God is real. I know He cares about every detail of my life. I believe Jeremiah 29 :11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." But do you remember playing Dodge Ball as a child? Well, that's what my life has been like for a year now. Constantly watching, dodging assaults, attacks, and often getting hit hard. It can be exhausting spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Yes, sometimes I feel doubtful, mistrusting, I wonder, even doubt this relationship, this gift of Love ... God's Love for me. But as I looked to the Word today I was reminded that I live by faith, not feelings. Feelings shift and change but "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things unseen," (Hebrews 11:1) Faith requires something more demanding - believing in something you cannot see. The verse "Walk by faith, not by sight" (Romans 4:12) is a command. Christ spoke some very strong words when He said, "Without faith it is impossible to please God." (Hebrews 11:6) I like this quote by Coach Bear Bryant, "Whenever you're in trouble and you don't know which way to turn, go back to the basics." The basics are that He really loves me and He knows my heart is hurting. Perhaps instead of chasing, pursuing ... this wild goose chase I seem to be on ... I should rest, surrender again, daily giving in to His pursuit and realize that He reaches out to me long before I even think about loving Him. He pursues me when I am running away from Him. All He wants to do is to love me.
Father, forgive me when I doubt and mistrust. I know YOU are with me in the fire. I know you have not left my side. Thank you for pursuing me. Thank you for your love most of all. AMEN.