In my late 40s I have learned to slow down a bit. Maybe it's the waning energy level, emptying nest, or maybe I truly have learned to be still more often. It is a discipline, a learned thing for sure.
I learned early in my marriage ... a little less than two years in, actually to have all appearances of the perfect wife and mom. I was pretty good at it, too. I had a spotless home, a loving husband, and an energetic little tot to keep me on my toes. It was all a matter of priorities and balance. Before long, I became the mother of two more precious little ones that added to my balancing act. Multi-tasking was my life.I made an attempt to be the wife, mom, teacher that I thought I was supposed to be. It was then that I began dropping the balls in my juggling act, so to speak. I could not keep up with the demands that I placed on myself. I tumbled. I fell. I crashed.
So I have been re-learning, disciplining daily. And I have not graduated from this class, but I have learned that it is not based on what I do or don't do. It's simple, beautiful grace. I feel as if I have finally scratched the surface of this gift. This grace. I don't have to try to do it all. I have discovered that when I choose to seek Him first, everything else that really matters gets taken care of anyway.