Friday, April 17, 2009

Letting Go...

I have always been fascinated with photos. My mother documented our family life with a simple Kodak camera and how I treasure those 4 x 4 square photos! Even those awkward, chubby years I endured.

Those squares, those four corners, somewhat like the pieces of a quilt stitch my life together.

If you know me at all, you know that I never venture too far without a camera in tow. True, I see beauty everywhere. I enjoy and appreciate nature, flowers, and of course I will jump at the chance to freeze-frame my children and grand daughter, Malli.

Too often, in my own life I attempt to capture and hold on to this ever-changing, vaporous life. Like gripping a camera in my hand, zooming in on the moment, focusing on what I think is important. Short-sighted and blinded by the present.

Tonight I am reminded once again that life is all about letting go.

Letting go of my children.

I love being a mom. I don't consider myself extremely bright or talented, but I do believe God called me to be a mom. I have enjoyed every phase of my children's lives. I made it a priority to be a good mom to them. I didn't mind putting their needs above my own. Now they don't need me in the same way. Griff is getting married, preparing to go in the Air Force; Taylor is away at college, contemplating decisions about Law School and marriage. Savannah-Jane is yearning for more independence and making decisions about her future.
It is time to let them go. Release them.
Ya know, when I let go of a physical object my hands are open, not clenched. If I am holding on to something how can I receive something?

Father, help me to let go, release them to you so I can receive what you want for me.


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